1.) Thou shalt not post mundane crap on thy blog.
No one wants to read a snoozefest that’s all filler and little substance.There’s nothing even mildly amusing about a post that’s based on this morning’s toast or the lint in your dryer. If you have nothing to say, then it’s best to say nothing at all.

2.) Thou shalt not write opinionated articles full of falsified information.
I have no problem with people sharing their opinions but don’t tweak, misrepresent, or outright falsify information to showcase your viewpoint in a better light or it will eventually tarnish your reputation. I have no respect for people who practice this sort of thing. It’s really pathetic.

3.) Thou shalt not beg people for visits.
Desperation isn’t attractive in relationships and it’s certainly not attractive in blogging. If I want to visit your blog and leave a comment, I will. If you ask me to, it will make me think your blog is so horrible that you have to resort to pleading for others to have pity upon you just to get blog visitors. That will make me never want to visit your blog.

4.) Thou shalt not steal content.
People work hard to write content. If you so dissatisfied with your writing that you are considering scouring the web to find good content to take from other blogs, then perhaps blogging isn’t your thing. Maybe it’s time you thought about finding another hobby or try your hand at improving your writing skills. Then again maybe you are just lazy and steal content because you don’t want to put any effort into doing the work for yourself. In ether case, I think this kind of theft warrants a crowbar to the kidneys.

5.) Thou shall interact with your readers.
Let’s face it, it’s frustrating to be ignored. When you take the time to post something insightful or ask questions of the author and you don’t hear a peep from them, you sometimes get the impression that you aren’t valued by the blogger. Of course, A-Listers may be able to get away with that just fine. After all, they get an avalanche of comments and realistically aren’t going to answer all of them. However, when you see a person doing this that only has a sparse handful of comments it translates much differently and can seriously put people off.

6.) Thou shalt not be a part of the herd.
Artistic licensing is important in blogging. You need to have a style all your own if you are serious about branding. Sure, the best way to appeal to the widest spectrum of people as possible is to be bland and blend right in. Yet, is that the best way to create a name for oneself? Of course not! Being memorable is the key. Vivid colors are not evil when done right!

7.) Thou shall offer thy readers variety.
Switching it up helps offer a little something to suit all tastes. So alternate between long posts and short posts. Sprinkle a smidgen of videos, contests and quizzes here and there if you niche allows for it. Even your favorite food would get boring if you ate it every day. Change is good.

8.) Thou shalt not use audio ads and pop ups.
Want people to shun your blog and curse it’s name? Have a plethora of broken javascripts and pop up ads freeze up their browser while a terrible audio ad overlays the MP3 they are currently listening to. That will make them come back, for sure. Audio ads are a horrible trend. They’re just as annoying as the auto midi players from the nineties. Unless you are a sadist, don’t plague your visitors with that nonsense.

9.) Thou shalt not stuff thy sidebar full of useless widgets.
Having a few widgets that you use as accents for your blog is no big deal. I do it and so do most people I know. The problem is when people go sidebar crazy. They start to think of the sidebar as a sideshow and pile widgets onto it until their blog can barely load. There is a place for huge javascript files and tacky graphics folks, and it’s called MySpace. I assure you that your readers are more interested in the content then in any of your widgets.

10.) Thou shall create a domain name.
This last tip isn’t really for personal or hobby blogs. It’s for those who are looking to sell something from advertising space to artistic ability. Don’t be a total cheapskate when it comes to your blog. Domain names help with branding, look much more professional, and are easier to remember off the top of your head if a person forgets to bookmark your URL or to subscribe to your RSS feed. AntiBarbie.net just wouldn’t be the same if it were called: AntiBarbie.blogspot.com/

My kids, boyfriend and myself have all caught a nasty bug. I’m hoping it’s just a bad cold and not the flu. Sorry for not getting around to anyone’s comments today. I’ll try and get to them as soon as humanly possible. It’s just totally wiped me out to take care of the kids all day and I really need to go rest. Hope you all have a better weekend then me!

There is this website called MEEZ that allows people to make pretty detailed animated avatars for their blogs. I decided to build one out of sheer boredom but I liked the digital me so much that I think I’m going to keep her around and make her sort of a blog mascot. I just wish they had an avatar that was a little bigger. This one is plus size and yet, it sure doesn’t do me justice!

If you haven’t checked out MEEZ, you should. They are a lot of fun to create and have an endless amount of combinations to play around with. I know that I just blew about an hour on making mine and I rushed!

I know that Teeni has one on her blog too. If anyone else has one or decides to play around with MEEZ, let me know so I can take a look at your creations!

Thank you to everyone that participated in the Dear Shabby Contest. I am pleased to announce that while it took me a long time to pick a winner, I have finally come to a decision. The winning letter shown below was posted by Teeni of the Vaguetarian Tea Room. Dear Shabby had some fun with it. I’ll let you all know when the header is done so you folks can see my work! Congrats Teeni and thanks for the hilarious letter. I wonder what Dear Shabby has to say on the subject…

Dear Shabby,

It is with great trepidation that I am writing this letter to you. It is of the utmost importance that nobody learn of this transmission. The consequences to my professional and personal life would be dire, indeed. I trust that you would not violate any confidentiality agreements or codes of conduct and that I won’t face repercussions of the sort if this letter were, perhaps, posted on some random blog somewhere.

(more…)

Seems I have another case of writing block so here is a silly little ditty that doubles as a bit of link love for some of my blogging buds. Enjoy! 

I’m not sure how it happened.
I can’t believe the words I speak
but somehow I failed to notice,
my muse went missing last week.

I don’t remember where I last saw her,
or where she’d be likely to go
but if any of you have seen her,
please call me and let me know.

I grow more worried by the minute
and it’s put me in quite a funk!
What if Meleah’s sold her on eBay
or Woobie’s got her corpse in a trunk?

She’s not talking books with Alan,
learning Ajax with the help of Andy,
or visiting with Claire and the kids.
Did Teeni lure her away with candy?

Could Mr. Grudge be behind this
in cahoots with WitchyPoo?
Perhaps Graham borrowed her
to help out the EntreCard crew?

If someone out there returns her,
I promise I won’t get mad,
unless you went and broke her.
She’s the only one I had!

Sorry if I’m whining
but I think I’ve paid my dues.
Forget about finding Waldo,
Where is my muse!?

Oh crap! Why does every single quiz I take that has colors in it always pick red for me? I’m really not fond of red at all. I don’t own a single thing that’s red or even a variation of red, like maroon. Nothing. Nada. *sigh* I keep hoping for black. Black is cool and sleek like a panther. When I think of red I think of hooker lipstick and those firetruck red longjohns with the trapdoor for those moments when nature calls… In any case, take the test and let me know your results!

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Well the Win A Custom Header Contest officially ended yesterday at Midnight EST. I hate to keep you all in suspense but I am going to look over the letters from all the contestants for a second time. I’ll make a decision within a couple of days and then contact the winner in order to secure the right to reprint their ‘letter’ with Dear Shabby’s response attached to it. It’s really going to be a tough decision to make. The letters were all so good. Here are a list of the contestants and their entries. They are all great reads. Check them out or miss out on creative silliness at it’s finest:

EvilWoobie, Andy, Teeni and Bun-Girl
Thanks for all your patience!

For those of you who don’t know about it (aka. exist under a rock) there is a service for blogs called EntreCard that allows you to advertise on a widget on other blogs of your choice *if* they accept you. I will happily admit I get turned down frequently. To be honest, I think I may hold some kind of record and I’ve even been staying in compatible categories.

I’m sure some people are wondering why on Earth I think that’s a good thing. To me, it shows that my blog has topics that are sometimes gritty and unpleasant. It’s not filled with mudane drivel. I wanted my blog to have some serious edge to it and the fact that people are feeling uncomfortable associating with me means that I am hitting my mark.

To be honest it’s not likely that I am missing much by being rejected by ‘Sarah’s Blog of Cool Stuff’ featuring such riveting subjects as ‘My boyfriend loves the GAP’ and ‘I Drink Orange Soda’. Nor do I believe that I have lost many faithful new readers from any blog who’s most exciting subject is a toss up between ‘Hot calculus teachers throughout history’ or that visionary post entirely comprised of binary code.

There really is a lot of crap to weed through out there on the Blogosphere but there are some real gems out there as well if you are willing to wade through the muck. Some of my favorite picks that I found through EntreCard are EvilWoobie.com, How2Blogger and Great White Snark. Be sure to check them out as they are all totally worth the read!

As for me and my little blog, I think it’ll just keep chugging along just fine, even if it is a total misfit.

I just wanted to write this quick note to let people know that the ‘Win a Custom Blog Header Contest’ is closing in a week. If you are interested in participating, please read the contest entry information and rules. There haven’t been many entries so far, so you would have a very fair chance of winning should you enter!

So, let’s get those creative juices going and let me see just what you bloggers are made of!

Once a week the Stumble Fairy is going to swing by a random post on this blog (that was posted within that same week) and stumble one of the latest posts of all the people who left comments in it. It’s just my little way of saying thank you for taking the time to comment. I am hoping that this will become a fun tradition here at AntiBarbie.net and I would recommend others to start stumbling people too!

The first post picked to stumble all the people who’ve commented is : “QOTW - What Makes You a Good Friend?” Hope this helps to send a little traffic your way!