I normally find prank calls to be just obnoxious and poorly contrived but I thought this was pretty clever and good for a chuckle. I’d be willing to bet cash this was this poor telemarketer’s worst experience on the job, hands down.

I just can’t fake it. I’m not a romantic. Aside from those sweet treats that I lurve, Valentine’s Day holds little appeal for me. I’m really quite easy to please. Screw roses, screw champagne, and tacky heart-shaped jewelery. Give me chocolate and leave me alone to eat it in peace! So, how do you like to celebrate the holiday?

Anyone remember that show ‘The Kids in the Hall’? Well, if you liked them, you will love this comedy troupe called ‘The Whitest Kids U’ Know’. This is my favorite skit of theirs. If there were demons around that were like anything this, you know I would be hanging out with ‘em.

Have you ever had an up close encounter with a person that was possibly mentally ill and really enraged?

When I was working at a pet store there was this gruff woman would come in to get her dog groomed and never pay. She would rant and complain about the groomer doing a bad job until she went through them all then she found new reasons to request her money back. She got away with not paying over half a dozen times and was told by the store manager that if she returned to get her dog groomed again, she would not get comped under any circumstances.

She came back and unfortunately for me she just had to be in my line. She hands me a check that’s unsigned and refuses to show me any identification. I let her know that we can’t accept an unsigned check as payment and I need to see her driver’s license and until she paid us, she could not go in back and get her dog (as per our store policy).

She started screaming in my face like a raving lunatic about us stealing her dog in front of her son who looked like a pre-teen. I called the manager’s office and the assistant manager didn’t answer the phone. I called for him on the loudspeaker and waited. Meanwhile, this woman is only gaining momentum. Shoppers are standing around just watching the spectacle and I was feeling horrible for her son, who was clearly embarrassed by his Mother’s rampage.

She got on the phone with her husband and told him that the fat bitch at the register was holding his dog hostage illegally and that he needed to come right away. They must live close because he came down to the store before the manager showed up. Things got really ugly. Now I had two people screaming and swearing at me. The husband handed her a purse and she threw her driver’s license at my face while telling me that she was going to make sure I would lose my job for the way I treated her: a valued customer. She hesitated about signing the check but finally did so after her husband started prodding her about leaving.

The assistant manager showed up but was just a sniveling little runt of a man. She yelled at him about me and he just sat there apologizing, begging her to leave like the bootlicker he was but she didn’t stop there. As she left she leaned over and made insane threats about things she would do to me if she ever saw me again.

Minimum wage is so not worth that shit. I thank the heavens those days are long behind me!

Ever wanted to start your own cult like Ron Hubbard in order to gain power, money and domination over others? The video below will show you how to mold the gullible and weak into a mindless drone who’s sole purpose in life is to appease you! Seriously, brainwashing people is easy. If a crappy Science Fiction writer can get people to buy a religion about space alien ghosts invading our bodies, then people can be duped into believing just about anything.

The cycle needs to stop here. Children, younger and younger are starting to pick up on our body issues and it’s one hell of a horrible curse to pass on to your child. I have seen children as young as five comment on their weight and it just kills me. I’m sorry if you don’t love your body as it is but it’s not something you should ever allow your children to see. No child should have to pay for an adult’s self-esteem issues.

It’s funny but I scribbled something similar to this storyline a while back on a napkin at a party. My sister had decided to take me to her friend’s luau for my Birthday and it was a disaster. All the girls there were so much different than myself that I ended up slinking off alone with my drink and doing a bit of writing and doodling out of sheer boredom. I ended up getting a buzz and knocking over an old drink all over the table and the story was lost.

For some odd reason I can’t seem to get the video to work properly when embedded so please just click the link and the video should open in a new browser window. Sorry guys!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

Even though I am a meat eater, I love animals. I have taken in wild, injured animals and nursed them back to health. I’ve had just about every type of pet under the sun and I would take feeder rats and mice home from the pet store and give them good homes. I have also given money to many different animal welfare organizations but I would never give a penny to PETA. This organization looks so innocent on the surface but all you have to do is a tiny amount of digging (a single scratch with a toothpick would suffice) to see that they are dangerous, hypocritical whackjobs.

Hey everyone. I’m off to visit my family and spread some holiday cheer. I wish you all happy holidays. Oh, and no matter if you celebrate Christmas or not, the video below is pretty darn sweet. I was always a sucker for a good light show and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra makes outstanding wintertime themed music. Therefore, this is right up my alley.

This is one of the best comedic commentaries on the United States that I’ve seen in a very long time. I agree with everything that he said and have felt that way about the corruption in the United States for a long time now. It’s the reason I’m not the least bit patriotic. We are not free, we have just have the illusion of freedom and none of the people in charge really care about the citizens here. They care only about their own wealth and power.

What are your thoughts?