Dear Ex-Friend:

It was insensitive of me to, even though I do feel that you played a part in what happened with DCF, to post anything related to you, even if I did not name names or make your identity known. Realizing my lack of sensitivity with this issue, after you contacted me, I took it down to appease you.

I am sorry if you feel publicly humiliated by anything I wrote (even though you remained anonymous) way back when but is what you are doing here any better? It has been just about a year since this whole mess started. I don’t enjoy fighting or arguing and am a conflict avoider so I let my silence speak for me.

Even if you didn’t call DCF, it was too coincidental in my opinion that the report mimicked everything that you said about me in your IMs the night before. It made it likely that you were involved in one manner or another. It’s not a chance I was willing to take. I really just wanted for this whole thing to die down and to go on with my life. Yeah, that post I made about my DCF experiences wasn’t my brightest or most thoughtful idea yet I don’t understand why you would you still be trying to drudge up the past after all this time.

I apologize for any way you feel I’ve wronged you or defamed you in that post but it doesn’t even come close to all the hateful things you have said about me. I just want this to end already. I am begging you, please just stop contacting me.

I have a favor to ask of all of you. Could everyone who got the following message email me at dawn[at]antibarbie[dot]net and include the full message if you still have it? Here is an excerpt:

Funny the friend psycho saga was removed. Remember Dawnie when you spit up, it always comes down. You have alot of nerve playing victim in this whole “saga.” I am sure you will delete this, because the truth is something you are not completely “friendly” with. First, we never really “lost” touch, and in 2003 I did move back to CT.

I appreciate your cooperation. I apologize to everyone about this letter. The funny thing is, I removed the post she’s referring to in the hopes that she would finally leave me alone. I guess *that* didn’t work. Sorry to have caused you any trouble with this craziness!

You granted your callous mistress the right to infiltrate our lives. My childhood memories are defiled by her meddlesome intrusion. You became her marionette, her absurd little dancing fool. I watched you; a once proud, mountain of a man, reduced to a lowly pebble.

You gave all you possessed in life to appease her constant hunger. We were afforded the scraps she left of your love, attention, and time. I can remember the contempt my mother endured every day for what you deemed an unforgivable sin: She chose to keep fighting for you.

You didn’t just defeat her once, that would have been too merciful. You subdued her inner essence, strangling it into submission. I witnessed my mother dwindle into a thin crumbling husk while you roamed in blissful freedom, never facing the aftermath.

There was never any real contest, family was expendable. You will never have my forgiveness for choosing her over your blood. I hope before you left this realm, you realized all you had lost in the name of your pale harlot, depraved goddess and one love: Cocaine.

1.) Thou shalt not post mundane crap on thy blog.
No one wants to read a snoozefest that’s all filler and little substance.There’s nothing even mildly amusing about a post that’s based on this morning’s toast or the lint in your dryer. If you have nothing to say, then it’s best to say nothing at all.

2.) Thou shalt not write opinionated articles full of falsified information.
I have no problem with people sharing their opinions but don’t tweak, misrepresent, or outright falsify information to showcase your viewpoint in a better light or it will eventually tarnish your reputation. I have no respect for people who practice this sort of thing. It’s really pathetic.

3.) Thou shalt not beg people for visits.
Desperation isn’t attractive in relationships and it’s certainly not attractive in blogging. If I want to visit your blog and leave a comment, I will. If you ask me to, it will make me think your blog is so horrible that you have to resort to pleading for others to have pity upon you just to get blog visitors. That will make me never want to visit your blog.

4.) Thou shalt not steal content.
People work hard to write content. If you so dissatisfied with your writing that you are considering scouring the web to find good content to take from other blogs, then perhaps blogging isn’t your thing. Maybe it’s time you thought about finding another hobby or try your hand at improving your writing skills. Then again maybe you are just lazy and steal content because you don’t want to put any effort into doing the work for yourself. In ether case, I think this kind of theft warrants a crowbar to the kidneys.

5.) Thou shall interact with your readers.
Let’s face it, it’s frustrating to be ignored. When you take the time to post something insightful or ask questions of the author and you don’t hear a peep from them, you sometimes get the impression that you aren’t valued by the blogger. Of course, A-Listers may be able to get away with that just fine. After all, they get an avalanche of comments and realistically aren’t going to answer all of them. However, when you see a person doing this that only has a sparse handful of comments it translates much differently and can seriously put people off.

6.) Thou shalt not be a part of the herd.
Artistic licensing is important in blogging. You need to have a style all your own if you are serious about branding. Sure, the best way to appeal to the widest spectrum of people as possible is to be bland and blend right in. Yet, is that the best way to create a name for oneself? Of course not! Being memorable is the key. Vivid colors are not evil when done right!

7.) Thou shall offer thy readers variety.
Switching it up helps offer a little something to suit all tastes. So alternate between long posts and short posts. Sprinkle a smidgen of videos, contests and quizzes here and there if you niche allows for it. Even your favorite food would get boring if you ate it every day. Change is good.

8.) Thou shalt not use audio ads and pop ups.
Want people to shun your blog and curse it’s name? Have a plethora of broken javascripts and pop up ads freeze up their browser while a terrible audio ad overlays the MP3 they are currently listening to. That will make them come back, for sure. Audio ads are a horrible trend. They’re just as annoying as the auto midi players from the nineties. Unless you are a sadist, don’t plague your visitors with that nonsense.

9.) Thou shalt not stuff thy sidebar full of useless widgets.
Having a few widgets that you use as accents for your blog is no big deal. I do it and so do most people I know. The problem is when people go sidebar crazy. They start to think of the sidebar as a sideshow and pile widgets onto it until their blog can barely load. There is a place for huge javascript files and tacky graphics folks, and it’s called MySpace. I assure you that your readers are more interested in the content then in any of your widgets.

10.) Thou shall create a domain name.
This last tip isn’t really for personal or hobby blogs. It’s for those who are looking to sell something from advertising space to artistic ability. Don’t be a total cheapskate when it comes to your blog. Domain names help with branding, look much more professional, and are easier to remember off the top of your head if a person forgets to bookmark your URL or to subscribe to your RSS feed. AntiBarbie.net just wouldn’t be the same if it were called: AntiBarbie.blogspot.com/

Need a cool new header for your blog like the one here at AntiBarbie.net? If so, take a chance at winning one for free by entering our brand new contest! You can enter two different ways:

1.) Write an HONEST recommendation for AntiBarbie.net on EntreCard.

2.) Write an HONEST review of AntiBarbie.net on your blog.

Then come back to this post and in the comments section, let me know which of the two methods you’ve done or if you’ve done both. If you’ve chosen to do a review, please leave a link to the entry post if a trackback didn’t take place. The winner will be chosen at random on March 15th.

Good luck to all whom enter. Oh, and if you want to see the header I created for the last contest winner, you can find it at the Vaguetarian Tea Room.

I just can’t fake it. I’m not a romantic. Aside from those sweet treats that I lurve, Valentine’s Day holds little appeal for me. I’m really quite easy to please. Screw roses, screw champagne, and tacky heart-shaped jewelery. Give me chocolate and leave me alone to eat it in peace! So, how do you like to celebrate the holiday?

This story was originally put up on the ever talented wordpress plugin master’s site: FiddyP. Andy, being gracious as always, allowed me to retain my rights to this story. Without further ado, here for your reading pleasure is a twisted little black comedy I like to call ‘Fresh Meat’.

Gretta stood next to a dumpster in the alleyway behind her family’s restaurant, puffing furiously on a cigarette. She fumbled with the broken zipper on her coat for a while until she finally gave up with a defeated sigh and a twinge of disgust.

That’s it. I am buying myself a new coat for Christmas. Why didn’t I throw this ratty old thing out last year like I planned? Why do I save useless crap like this? I need to just grab a few dozen trash bags and get rid of it, all of it. It’s not like I’m ever going to use old catalogs, broken cassette tapes, or a year’s supply of plastic bags. Why is it so hard to let things go?

Her feeble attempts to ward off the frigid air by clenching her coat closed with one hand were thwarted by mighty arctic blasts. No longer able to withstand the chill, Gretta dipped the half-finished cigarette into the newly fallen snow. Then she dropped the soggy butt into her coat pocket.

“Damn zipper,” she mumbled as she turned around to reach for the door.

Dieter noticed his daughter trying to shake off the bitter cold when she passed the stove to hang up her coat. “Come and have a nice bowl of soup. I made it fresh.”

Gretta sat down with her soup. Just as the spoon was about to touch the murky broth, her face soured and muscles tensed.

“Wait, how fresh?” She turned to her father.

“Oh!” Dieter grew pale for a moment while he wiped his hands on his apron. “Not that fresh…” He glanced over at a man in a tacky, red Santa sweater who’d been busy studying the menu longer than it would take Dieter to read a novel. “Just a little something I whipped up this morning.” He smiled nervously.

It was too late. She had already lost her appetite. She felt nauseated and her head was pounding. Even the soft melody of Christmas oldies playing on the jukebox were grating on her nerves. Aching to get this day over with and just jump straight into bed, Gretta glanced up at the clock. That’s when she noticed the dirty tables waiting for her.

I can’t believe that I didn’t even remember to clean up after the morning rush.

Gretta shook her head while glancing down at the barely touched mounds of food abandoned by two teenagers.

“Such a waste,” she sighed and cleared off the table.

Just like my life.

She tried to push the unsettling thought away without success.

You ruined everything! We were supposed to grow old together. You were going to toss aside fifteen years for some silly little teenage girl with bleached blond hair and bad skin. How could you do that to me? I loved you! You fu-

“Excuse me, Miss?” The raspy voice of a patron flagging her over pierced the foggy veil of her thoughts instantly, but the bitterness lingered.

Gretta forced a smile and grabbed a pen and pad from her apron. When the elderly gentleman gave her his order, she struggled to suppress the urge to giggle. The hint of a grin flashed across her face as she strolled into the kitchen.

Her panic-stricken husband made futile attempts to jerk free from his bindings when Gretta opened the freezer door. He gurgled in alarm as he eyed the knife in her hand.

“You’re an utter waste of human life, but I just can’t bring myself to throw things away, even worthless trash like you. You got off real easy last time, Franz. I mean, how many people order tongue these days?” She grabbed his crotch forcefully and met his bewildered gaze with a smirk.

“This time, it’s German sausage.”

The Bebo Author Blog is running a huge short story competition extravaganza! The great thing about this contest is that it’s promptless and all genres are welcome. That means that you can work within your element and submit a priceless gem. Might I add that you better submit a gem too because the prizes are fabulous and the judging panel is impressive. Besides, you are going up against the AntiBarbie herself, so you better be on top of your game!

What might you win, you ask? How about a free self-hosted wordpress blog for a year, Amazon vouchers, Entrecard credits and books for starters! Sound good? Then head over to Bebo Author and read more on how to enter!

For those of you that haven’t fallen for the charm of a manipulative little player, consider yourselves lucky. People that harm others in order to gain an ego boost are little better than cockroaches in my opinion. The only thing I dislike about this poem is that I couldn’t seem to get the rhythm down just right. It drove me crazy but in the end I decided that I played around with it for long enough and to just leave it alone. I hope you guys like it!

You gloat because you’ve won.
You pulled the wool over my eyes.
You made me believe in nonsense;
I fell for your honeyed lies.

Go ahead and praise yourself,
on the good job that you’ve done.
What does it matter who you hurt,
when you can claim you’ve won!

Run and tell the sordid tales
of your pathetic victory.
I’m rid of a heartless vulture,
so the real winner is me.

My kids, boyfriend and myself have all caught a nasty bug. I’m hoping it’s just a bad cold and not the flu. Sorry for not getting around to anyone’s comments today. I’ll try and get to them as soon as humanly possible. It’s just totally wiped me out to take care of the kids all day and I really need to go rest. Hope you all have a better weekend then me!